More than a couple years ago I hummed a tune so much I eventually realized it was a question of the heart I was hearing. I finally wrote it down in my journal as an inquiry of my heavenly Father. The tune playing over and over in my head was…
How can I be sure
In a world that’s constantly changing
How can I be sure
Where I stand with you
In time the promises of my Father changed from knowing them in my head to understanding them with my heart. I don’t ask anymore about where I stand but there are often other questions. I love how He will answer them all.
Deu 31:8 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
* Lyrics by The Young Rascals
“The hills are alive with the sound of music” rang in my head as I traversed some upper trails in the hills. Green grasses were filled with spring’s wild flowers. I purposed to put away my Ipod so I could hear the music being sung by all of creation. I love to listen to music but sometimes I have to be quiet in order to really hear it.
Earlier I had found myself at the radio tower which carries the strongest air wave signal for this local region. So many words and melodies emanate from these dishes. Looking at them I wondered at the technology we have. We can hear the thoughts of people from all over the world via these transmissions.
Over and over again these transmissions are put forth with the mindset behind them of the money to be made. I wondered at the music we could hear in our valley if instead of sharing information based on greed, we shared because of hope. Hope for change, hope for helping one another, hope for unity in our hearts.
I haven’t really wanted to go anywhere and yet for a couple days I feel completely drawn to go where I must. I don’t always know what to expect but I think that’s the point of learning to be obedient.
John 3:8 “The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.”
“Who’s your daddy?”
In another era this would have been considered an actual question. In today’s language it’s considered a colloquial phrase. For those of us who don’t study the dictionary, just think conversational or even slang. Back to the topic though, “who’s your daddy?”
The significance involved with this specific line of questioning should be interesting to our generation. Is it any wonder it has taken on a life of it’s own in our culture and terminology? How many people do all of us know who have no father in the picture of daily life? What do we even know to be a father figure?
I have heard countless tales of disappointments for our “fathers”. When I dig into the matter it often leads into more tales of disappointments from previous generations. My heart breaks for those who live in the place of their disappointment, never moving on, always reliving a painful experience.
It’s really time to know who our Daddy is so we can stop faltering by putting all our hopes in the frailty of human beings. People make mistakes. Once we recognize that truth we are free to move on to deeper understanding. Our heavenly Father is the only perfect Daddy. I now have to ask again, “who’s your Daddy?”
Character can be defined as the qualities or features that distinguish one from another. Basically it’s who we are seen as by others. The integrity of our character matters to most of us, which is why slander can be such an effective weapon in a war of words. A person’s character is an ever evolving thing, but often people want to decide who we are in a season and plant us forever in that field of final answers for themselves. They rarely take the time to get to know us in more than a passing relationship. Depths of heart are never explored.
The assassination of one’s character is a delicate matter and we need to take great care over what we speak of another. It’s a real stretch for me to not defend myself even when I know I am not guilty of what is being said about me. It’s even more of a stretch not to speak against those I know to be wrong. Trust is a huge factor but it’s not people I’m having to trust, nor is it even myself. My trust lies in the one who will vindicate me.
Psalms 35:23 Awake, and rise to my defense! Contend for me, my God and Lord.
Leaving my car I pulled my hood up over my ball cap to keep the rain from blinding my eyes. I had a desire to walk some things out and waiting for the weather to change was taking too long. I was just going to have to be willing to get wet as I pursued my heart and thoughts to go into deeper places.
I’d been feeling like my life was upside down again. Although I was trying to take things in stride, some days seemed more challenging for getting a grasp of what my life was to look like in the norm. As the raindrops fell about my head I could hear their sound amplified in my ears. With each step, my mind’s clutter lessened, until I was only left with thoughts of observation for the beauty around me.
Passing one of the many benches set along the path I noticed rose petals and leaves scattered about. Looking around it was clear to see this was a flower brought from outside. It made me wonder about the person who had sat here to scatter this flower. What had they been thinking as they pulled apart the fragrant blossom?
I could find humor in wondering if that wasn’t my own answer to life at the moment. A rose in hand, plucking at the petals one at a time while questioning aloud, “do I go left, or do I go right?” I knew the better answer, but I smiled nonetheless.
Isa 30:21 Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” Whenever you turn to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left.
Parking was an issue, but I found a local lot that seemed affordable. Pulling my car into a dank corner, the aroma was a wake up call, “I wasn’t in Kansas anymore”. I felt far from home. My bedroom community with strip malls and Starbucks couldn’t be further from this reality. Feeding dollars into a parking meter I waited for my ticket to spit out while absorbing my new existence.
Less than an hour later I was walking among some vendor tents emanating incense and pseudo hope. They sold colorful jewelry and beautifully made scarves. They also sold scrolls to hang on the wall with words that seemed to hold wisdom but held no truth.
At the end of this farmer’s market, I and my friend stopped to take note of a sign which could only be seen if you “looked up”. It was one word but it was the only word which matters…..”TRUTH”
I awoke at 3:20a with an ache in my heart. I hurt for people who didn’t know me. Getting out of the comfort of my bed I made my way to the living room. Leaving the lights out I felt the need to pray for the darkness to be made light. I could hear the rain outside my windows and felt choked up for those sleeping in the wet and cold.
Where did they all come from? Why did they come here, this most darkest of places in a city by the bay? I am flooded by the hope of what we will see in this hour, “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden.” I see swords unsheathed in this blackness and they are bright. They will lead like warriors in the way of truth.
In one man, David, men found a heart of God. They found a reason to believe there to be hope when all seemed hopeless. As David pursued the nearness of God, the intimacy of God’s very heart, men were naturally drawn to what he had. They wanted that nearness for themselves. David’s mighty men came from questionable beginnings too. From places and situations that were unfavorable.
As I walked among many in the dark, I could see but one thing; warriors waiting to discover their identities, their very destinies. I see the army to awaken and be a force to contend with. I see a fire unquenchable; it will spread from this place, the heart of a city.
Resistance! As a definition it’d be a force that tends to oppose or retard motion. I’d say forward motion for me. I can be honest to say I’ve felt resistance today especially in the way confidence can erode with a few misplaced words.
I moved my keyboard too hard and a vial of mustard seeds fell over on my desk. I had forgotten they were even there. Reaching over, I picked up the glass tube, holding it in my palms, wondering. I was reminded that if I had the faith of these tiny seeds I could move mountains.
A lack of confidence had come against me for something I knew I was supposed to do, but these seeds reminded me it wasn’t my confidence or ability that could do anything. It was my faith that would move mountains.
I stand here on a hill and I look over the land with a city of lives. I ask of You, “What do You want?” Quietly I await Your answer but this time You do not keep me waiting. I hear, “Look as far as your eyes can see, and then look beyond…this is what you want, and you can have it, just ask!”
I am asking….