The hallway is long, wide and high. I can’t see its end. I am able to hang pictures and more; memories of my life are here. On quiet days when resting, I come to walk slowly through this space too large for me to comprehend. The imagery is not that of a museum. It’s life enjoyed in all my senses. I smell the tar of train tracks where I played as a child. Stepping across this hall I hear a song I sang over my son when he was drifting off to sleep. Videos play of exploring a mountain in Japan and snorkeling the clear blue waters of the Philippines. The taste of fruits enjoyed; how it feels to touch sand, all of these are here.
The memories are wonderful, but I am meant to continue filling up this vast space. There is an alcove in this hallway. Each time I come here I find a new blank canvas set before me. Beside it are the promises for what I can dream. No limitations can contain me apart from my heart. I soak in the colors of what can be. Off I go to a place I’ve never been. No map exists here. As I walk, atmosphere is created by my faith. The beauty of hope paints my landscapes wherever I step.
Eph 3:17-20 Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
The steps I walk seem so random. Each moves me forward, even when I go in a sideways or cross movement. A memory invades my perception from a game played as a child. Hopscotch rules remind me of words, “safe” and “home” and especially “rest”.
A crowd begins to jeer
Who is this woman?
Her fears rise until she wants to run
Opposition gets louder
Voluminous voices try to drown resolve
Her message is a statement
Listening, she asks for wisdom
She lays herself down
Nothing more to be done
Love is sought
Humility her answer
Great are the battles within each and every one of us. I stood witness to a reflection of myself today. My own weakness I heard shared in the words spoken. With understanding, I listened to a heart desperately needing to remember what hope and love looked like. I was impressed by the courage I saw. To lay down our own plans, our ideas, to lay down our pride.
Here I wait for the arising. From the ashes of what we ourselves tried to build come hope and promise as they are meant to be. Refined and perfected in the fires of trials and tribulations. Greater than our limited expectations, our awakened dreams are being fulfilled.
Insecurity…lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt….Jesus is the antonym and He says…balance, constancy, soundness, stability and steadfastness. Pretty sure I’m latching onto His definition of who I am!
In my youth I would drive the streets of Japan not able to read Kanji language. I simply learned direction with practice. I find amusement in how those experiences are still teaching me to steer by instinct and not what I can visually read or understand. In those years I had to have courage to explore and willingness to get lost now and again.
Joshua 1:9b “Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”
I discover my position of lowliness once more and feel my heart emerging into the hope of truth. I find my place in the Son along with those who also hear this call. A burning sensation is working throughout me, cleansing my impurities. I wonder at the color of my flame in this moment. I am unrestrained; however my discomfort desires me to move elsewhere. I must stay still. I await the fourth man who is to come.
Dan 3:25 “Look!” he answered, “I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire; and they are not hurt, and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God.”
A sense of humor is a precious commodity in serious times. It can be arms of comfort or weapons of warfare. I pay attention to humor in myself and in others. The way one uses humor can be quite telling. The weaponry aspect shows when I see deflection; that would be the shield. To see words thrown carelessly, that would be the barb. Seeing words maliciously delivered is to know there is a need to eviscerate another; that would be a sword of the wrong making.
The arms of comfort wrap themselves around another with joy and acceptance; being quick to laugh with another, but not at them. Putting someone at ease in a moment of discomfort can bring them rescue and relief. Speaking an appropriate word sometimes is as effortless as releasing laughter in the right moment. Genuine laughter sounds like an orchestra of love sung just for you.
Pro 26:18-19 (MSG) People who shrug off deliberate deceptions, saying, “I didn’t mean it, I was only joking,” Are worse than careless campers who walk away from smoldering campfires.
Pro 15:23 (GNB) What a joy it is to find just the right word for the right occasion!
Two turtledoves sat outside my kitchen window. I looked on them with a love burning in my heart knowing what they represented. They would not leave each other. They were dedicated. They were singularly focused. They flew freely. They chose to fly together always.
He who gets wisdom loves his own soul; He who keeps understanding will find good. Pro 19:8
My greed knows no boundaries and the hunger in me cannot be quenched. I tilt my ears to listen intently to what is spoken of truth. In my dullness, I come alongside those who can sharpen me. With their grit and determination I begin to shine.
Although slow in my understanding, I hold on with vice grips for hands; I clutch tightly to what I should never let go of. My pride hollers at me, and my insecurities scream aloud. These are useless voices to my sense of self. I am set upon the greed of needing wisdom and understanding.