“You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension. A dimension of sound. A dimension of sight. A dimension of mind. You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into the Twilight Zone”
The liar came again, unannounced, unexpected. I don’t even know where he came in. He made himself at home in my head while I had slumbered in distraction. When I awoke to his presence, I noticed he had already unpacked the familiar things he carried in his bags. He had pulled out accusations, failures, rejection and went to work to make the most irritation of past wounds. These unwanted furnishings left my emotional home of peace in tatters. He wanted to squat until he could take ownership of my heart.
I called my heavenly Father in distress and shared with Him everything that was happening. He assured me my heart belonged only to Him and He was sending help to vacate the unwanted guest immediately. A moving van arrived with one word to advertise its use. TRUTH.
Joh 8:32 And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free
To explore new territory is to make tracks alone. New trails are rugged maps made inland to places not seen before. The loneliness is crushing, but the beauty of unexplored land keeps the heart moving forward. The cold and heat can break down all resolve. The hunger rages for those things we’ve always known, yet it’s time to forget them and seek the new thing.
There was enough time so I sat still while water and soap encapsulated my car, cleaning away dirt and grime. Turning up the stereo, I tried to concentrate, lessening the mechanized sounds happening all around me. Strange as it seemed, I felt a peace in this place.
I had wanted to hide in my house, in myself, but I had made a commitment to be someplace. Momentarily I lingered in this hidden location, driving forward as slow as I could get away with. Closing my eyes I leaned my head back and just listened to the words.
I hear you reaching out in me
I can hear you calling
Take the pain away
I feel you calling out with me
Comfort me I’m falling
Take the pain away
Can you hear me?
Come and heal me
Can you take the pain away? *
As I absorbed these words, I could hear the continual cleansing of my vehicle. My hands rested on my steering wheel and I thought I felt drops of water. Opening my eyes I could see water was dripping slowly upon my fingers.
I felt tears I’d been holding within slide down my cheeks. I knew I’d have to call for a replacement of my windshield, but at this moment it just didn’t matter. All I really understood was how life giving water cleansed dirt and grime from my very soul.
* Al Berry – Take The Pain Away
He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul.
The words I had written were few. Looking at them on the paper wasn’t enough. I tore away the excess. Putting a flame to the heart of my thoughts, I watched it burn. Smoke filled my nostrils and I opened the door to prevent alarms from going off. The breeze caused it to burn hot and fast. When the ashes cooled I put them into a glass vial, setting them on my desk to remind me always of a love too great.
Deu 4:24 For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.
Parking my car I noticed the woman sitting in her own car next to me. She was smoking a cigarette and her fingernails were dark red. I put up my shade screen in the windshield but kept wondering about the woman next to me. Who was she and what did her life look like?
My head was pounding. I felt empty and drained of any desire to want to even be here. Inwardly I spoke to my heavenly Father…”Abba, I have nothing to give but if You will show up, I will offer my hands to serve”
I found my husband and asked him to walk with me. I shared with him my lack and my pain. He too spoke a prayer over me while we walked. I was fighting a desire to just quit and go home. We kept walking. I wanted to find the plaque which spoke of peace over our city.
Near the creek we met our brother. He and another man were sharing 40s of beer and commented how they thought us to be “Johnny Law” at first. We laughed but asked if they were hungry? We invited them to come share a meal with our friends if they’d like and waved goodbye.
Later we met them again. They did come to join us for a meal and I was touched as my brother shared his heart with my friend. I couldn’t hear all he spoke but I heard his heart loud and clear. He was looking for love and acceptance. He found more than food to fill his belly; he found food to fill his spiritual hunger.
He wanted prayer and shared how he desired to be completely covered in what we had. It was an easy request to honor. When we asked his name, I learned it to be the same as my own brother whom I love dearly. Never dismissing a coincidence I was blessed to receive a hug from this brother who stood in front of me.
I listened carefully to all I heard, and when my friend prayed, I knew she was listening too. This man’s heart was precious. He carried deep wounds but this day I heard my Father share how He would heal and care for his heart. He loved this heart. He loved our brother very much and will use him to heal other hearts. Quietly I faded into the background to let him chat with others. Mentally I stored his picture and smiled. I was blessed to meet another brother in my growing family.
To really love is to know how to hurt. Most of us want love without pain, but that is simply immature. In order to truly love means to love when it costs us. We always want what love gives, but it’s not so easy to stand still when love takes from us.
Wrapping my gift in tears; I quietly hand over my offering. My heart is grown through pain. There is an understanding. The value of my offer may never be known to any but me, and He that created my heart to love so selflessly.
Complacency is so sweet and I am the first one to want to pitch a tent and make camp in this comfort zone. All is good for me so why not stay here? Just as I hunch down to rest upon my laurels, something begins to bother me.
My ears hear the wailing of discontentment. I can’t make out if the voice is my own or others around me. A mournful sound climbs until I can no longer ignore its volume and my discomfort increases exponentially.
Packing up my tent, it’s time to move on. There will be no snoozing here in this place where I longed to stay. Moving forward on the path, quietness once again sets in. I find peace even in my travels.
Pro 1:32 (NLT) For simpletons turn away from me-to death. Fools are destroyed by their own complacency.
I had a “rewind” moment of my memories today. A movie called the Little Mermaid came to mind because of a song called, “Part Of Your World” I stumbled upon in my collection of songs. Listening to it all these years later, I became fascinated for its appeal to me in the first place. It called forth a deep desire within me…..
Up where they walk, up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wandering free, wish I could be
Part of that world….
And ready to know what the people know
Ask ’em my questions and get some answers
What’s a fire and why does it – what’s the word?