Mine felt like a small part in a big play. Grandeur on such a large scale made it hard to imagine why my role mattered. Still I was responsible to show up and I took my place in line waiting for what it was I was meant to do. The words were not given to me ahead of time so rehearsal was not an option. Essentially I was to respond from the heart and my spiritual coach would fill my mouth appropriately.
In the meantime I looked out the window to watch the rain drops. They helped me make sense of who I was and why I was here. On my own I was but a drop of water, but when gathered together with others, I was the deluge of a building river pouring life into a dry and barren ground.
I sat in front of the grate with my toes resting upon the chilly bricks. Soon enough the heat from the hearth would spread. Watching the flames grow I longed for contentment. Looking at the bible lying next to me I could feel peace come again. Memories of a thousand hugs flooded my senses. A childhood friend came to my thoughts. How I longed to give her every one of those hugs in this minute of her need. My Father heard this desire and in His goodness dispatched the angels to deliver each hug personally.
I lay still listening to the gentle rain fall upon our roof. I heard a ring tone notifying me of a text message. It was still dark out and I groped by feel above my pillows to collect my phone on the shelf. Opening it up to read, my heart felt sadness. My friend had lost a family member in the early hours of this rainy day. I was being asked for prayers.
Flipping back the covers I went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. Looking out into the gray mist I could see the beginning of a new day dawn. My thoughts focused on how everyday lives come and lives go so quickly. I wondered if this man ever knew how special he was to the Lord? I wondered if even now he was having a conversation with Jesus? Breathing in deeply I began my own conversation with the Lord.
The man held the radio in his hands and wondered what it would speak or sing if it had power? He’d kept it boxed in original packing. Now and again he’d take it out of his closet to read what it was capable of. The box print said it had traditional AM and FM reception and also was equipped to receive HD Satellite digital signals. Playing with the dials, he turned it over, removing the back plate to look at the empty battery slots.
When he’d first received this gift, a circle of friends had looks of awe on their faces. He thought he’d seen admiration and longing in their eyes, but quickly learned he was mistaken. Each of them began to voice concern at the negative impact such a gift would have. The batteries needed for power were a bad idea which would destroy the environment. Any signal received would probably speak or sing of ways to deceive him. The man was hurt he couldn’t use his gift but trusted his friends were only trying to protect him. With regret, he packaged up this gift once more to put it away.
Psalms 119:15 I will study Your teachings and follow Your footsteps
The scene surrounding him only confirmed the loneliness he felt in his heart. He stood on an island in the middle of a dense traffic fairway. No one stopped to ask him why he was there or if he needed help. He had searched the faces of those behind the wheel and the passengers. They all seemed to look through him with mild disinterest. At random the cars either zipped by speedily or crawled along slowly, none turning aside to offer him assistance.
This was the world he lived in; one of suspicion, of busyness, people living all for self. The bitterness within him grew aggressively, churning up an acid in his belly. The loneliness pounded in his chest and he hurt with the ache. Anger began to wrap itself around the pain. Reaching into his pocket for the gun he felt something beside it, paper? Pulling it out he could see it was some kind of news clipping. He unfolded it to read. Taking in the headline he didn’t even notice his own tears until they started dripping onto the print causing the ink to smear. The story details didn’t matter. The headline was all he needed.
There are times when it is profitable to one’s growth to rest and just listen…
She looked at me with desperate eyes. Her needs were so great and I could sense her desire to believe, to know she was really loved, to rebuild trust again. Leaning over to hug her seemed to break a crumbling dam. I didn’t pull back, letting her hold on as tightly as she wanted to. I could feel her warm tears dripping onto my shoulder. After a couple minutes she finally was able to speak, “I really needed a hug”.
In the aftermath of voting for another president, our nation will now move into the next season of purpose. In a country where free speech is allowed, we will hear boasting and lamenting both. I have but one response, “prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone – for kings and those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness”.
* 1 Timothy 2:1-2
As the leaves fall off the trees I recognize my need to follow You into a new season again. I breathe deep into my lungs the air You alone provide.
“Sometimes, all that I need is the air that I breathe, and to love you” *
* Lyrics by Hollies, The Air That I Breathe