“She Hated Cheap Pens”

Many who have been around me long enough will have heard me grumble much about cheap pens. So much in fact I have often joked semi seriously that my epitaph will be “She hated cheap pens!” Can you imagine those who peruse headstones in the graveyards? They’d either giggle themselves silly in this place most feel sadness or else they will scratch their heads and wonder, “who was this woman?”

Freaking Out

Can I tell you a story?…..I like to find quiet places when I leave the office for lunch and today I parked my car too close to some bushes rather than crowd another. Getting out, I was literally in the bush for a moment. At a bench I sat down to do my thing in the solitude and looking down at my lap I noticed there to be a tiny bug looking like a spider. Hey, I’m outdoors; what do I expect? Flicking it off of myself I went back to my pencil and paper. Another spider bug was sighted on my other pant leg. Okay, so now I am wondering if there’s more. Standing up I can see several have attached themselves to the lower parts of my slacks so I get busy shooing them away. Bothersome but nothing I can’t live with.

When time is up I head back to my car now wishing I didn’t have to get in the bush again to access my car door. It’s such a tight fit and I don’t have time to check myself over for these spider things before I am seated. Hoping I’m not carrying any of these creatures I head back to the office and stop in the bathroom. Sure enough, I find some more of these little things on my slacks. I do the dust away thing with my hands and am agitated when a couple don’t flick off but explode their tiny guts upon my pants, leaving small smears of themselves.

When I finally get to my desk it’s all I can do to not think about these tiny spiders and how many I may not have seen. Of course I am an imaginative person and my thoughts start to take off in the wrong direction but I’m trying to keep them in check. “No, that itch on your left hand is just a twitch…what was that on the back of my neck?…how come my cheek feels like there’s something there?…..” About the time I think I have myself in check mentally, one of these creepy little spiders drops from my hair onto the desk!

Outwardly, I tell my co-workers “I’m freaking out” in a voice as calm as can be (they already know about these spiders). Being compassionate (?) people they begin teasing me. Inwardly, I am the woman screaming at the top of her lungs, jumping up and down while I slap the crap out of myself, making sure I squash every living thing trying to catch a free ride on my carcass.

Need I share how fast I rid myself of clothing when I got home and rushed into a shower?

Organization A Must

My husband has been working overtime the last couple of days to groom our yard and fix those “things” needing attention around our house. I was quite pleased about this since our “built in” sprinklers work again. We have a habit of mowing them down on a regular basis. I’m sure this is to dull the blades on our mower so no real harm can be done to the thicker weeds.

With all the extra activity I am sensing some guilt attacks. I can hear a voice saying, “So what are you doing?” As I enter my driveway and pull up in front of my garage I keep seeing that big white door taunt me. It’s been so long since we opened it I fear what would roll out if we did.

Time for some loving tender care on my part. Besides being good for our home it would release me from being tormented by that voice dripping with self-righteousness. Yep, tomorrow I will have a new plan. My body will don a pair of those perfectly folded sweats I have been saving for future strenuous exercise and I will take a field trip into the unknown, otherwise known as my garage.

Even thinking about it now makes me feel pro-active. I like organization for sure. Speaking of organization, perhaps it would be best to have a game plan before I tackle the actual project? It would be a shame to start clearing the shelves without knowing where I plan on putting everything. I wouldn’t want to make a mess of the mess. I know……I will come home tomorrow and write out what I am going to do. That’s organized!

Target Advice

“I’m going to hit him with the stapler!” she said

Looking at her expression I didn’t doubt for a moment she intended the very violent action she spoke of. Inwardly I was asking myself, “Father, what do I need to say? Do you want me to give sound advice or draw the target? After all she might only get one shot and if it’s your will, I wouldn’t want her to miss!”

Commentary on co-workers….

Demons of Stupidity

“Out! Out! You Demons of Stupidity!” Saint Dogbert

This quote, though not as well known as literary masters, is still one worthy of deeper discussion. I wonder if there really are demons for stupidity? I meet a lot of people and some of them surprise me with the vacuous existence their mind seems to dwell in.

I was given advice a long time back regarding “interviewing your thoughts”. It was good advice and has helped me better focus my mind on ….”whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.”

I am not sure if thinking about stupidity is anything of quality but my love for a fellow man at times makes me want to slap the “stupid demon” right out of him! At this moment I am still interviewing that thought.