Month: June 2009

Some days all I want to do is my own thing but responsibilities can keep me preoccupied. Even after I roll in the door my mind is still buzzing along about everything I need to get done. I started to go into busy mode the minute I came home and then it hit me how quiet the house was.

Nah, this isn’t the way to live today! I went into my spare room’s archives of cds and found something bluesy but fun. As much as I love my sound system I must take care not to rattle all my shelves. Finding a nice level of comfort I went to the wine rack for a Syrah and opened it for some breathe time.

Time for some candles and a romantic dinner with my husband. This is a much better idea than “busy chores”. I need to remember how to rest sometimes. Tonight seems like a good time to reacquaint myself with that concept.

The arena was dimmed and we were singing with the band; songs of hope and joy. I kept looking below me to those whose seats were lower and virtually no one was sitting down, but all were on their feet to celebrate our King.

The song transitioned from one of faster pace to a hymn. One by one the instruments became still and the singers pulled away from their microphones. This is when I heard the voices of harmony lift as one to fill the entire arena with a sound of such beauty I have rarely heard.

I myself stopped singing and closed my eyes to block out visual stimuli. I only wanted to listen. I have never heard angels sing, but if I could imagine them, I was sure it would sound this beautiful. I kept my eyes closed and twisted my head from left to right trying to capture every essence of this music offered to heaven.

I imagined this sound to be unity. A mere shadow of what is coming. This arena had about 5500 people and I remembered the verse we had been sharing earlier….

Rev 19:6   Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: “Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns.

What is generosity? I wondered because someone called my husband and I generous, yet we felt as though we hadn’t really done much of anything to deserve such a compliment. We shared a meal, our hearts, some music and extra items which had been hanging out in the garage. These seemed so little in light of what you would think generous to be.

I’d love to sign over a car to someone in need of transportation. I’d love to pay someone’s bills for a year while they healed of injury. I’d love to fly someone across the world so they could spend a week with family they haven’t seen in years. These are my thoughts of generosity but I keep getting schooled in this area about how others see generosity.

My education comes in learning that generosity is not about the material world, as wonderful as that can be to help others. I am learning that my life can be a generous gift to others as I give it away. To set aside my own agenda and spend time with someone who may need some company. To invite someone to share a meal who misses eating with others. To encourage another with smiles and laughter as they tell you their thoughts.

I never realized how easy it was to be generous. If this is what generous is than I look forward to giving away everything I have.

It was early and wanting to get out of the room I headed out to the car with my bag. Taking my headset out of my back pack, I listened to some tunes while enjoying the morning. Looking around me this was not the most scenic place in the world to be. Still it was good to be outside and I bopped along to my music wondering at God’s love for me.

I had an urge to write and went back to the car grabbing my journal and pen. I was enjoying my private moment in this public place as words poured onto the pages. I stopped walking for a moment steadying my book in hand and I smelled garbage. It wasn’t overpowering but it just didn’t belong in this moment. Closing my journal I took a closer look around me at everything, especially the fence in front of me.

Through the twisted wire I could see open space leading to a busy road where cars were traveling on their various journeys. This fence would not allow me to go any further than this parking lot where trash was being piled up behind a nearby wall. I wondered about this as I paced back and forth. Stopping for a moment, I reached out my hand to grab this fence, testing its strength.

I started to wonder about its lie. Although it felt strong to the touch and threatened to keep me bound here next to the trash, inside I knew I could escape its confinement. I could easily overcome this limitation and walk in the freedom of open spaces. I looked at the road again and smiled. Even from behind this fence I knew I wasn’t going to stay here and soon I’d be on my way….

Everywhere I look I am surrounded by eyes. I’m speaking about my office of course. You see, as I have mentioned I can be immature so I don’t have the surroundings others might expect. If it’s fun or challenging to my thoughts then I pretty much have it on my walls. Lots of movie posters left over from the days our son worked as a manager at a local theater complex. Easy pickings you might say.

Now and again, I think it’s time to change the walls but I don’t have a clear vision as to what that might look like, so I am consistent to welcome the eccentric. Creative thinking can be pretty stepped on in our society practices and I long for more “outside the box” type mentality.

Everything from our work places, cars, homes, schools and yes…churches seems to be pretty routine. Looking around the world our Lord created, everything pretty much shouts at us we are supposed to be different! Who keeps trying to homogenize us?

Okay so it’s finally happened! We invited a guest to dinner and at some point in the evening we were told she thought of us as parental figures! You know what that means don’t you? We are seen as “older”, no longer in their peer group. I could only grin about it but my husband took it like an arrow to his machismo. I’m just glad he has a great sense of humor and can roll with a good punch.

Our grown son now has a young son of his own so we get to be a voyeur into his life while he raises this young one into a little man. We don’t get to be part of this daily adventure since they live in another state. What we have noticed is how often our heavenly Father keeps bringing young men and women into our daily lives.

These young men and women are enjoyable and when I am around them I sense a fire within. Hopes, dreams and possibilities are all there simmering like hot coals. My favorite joy is to encourage these into the burning hot flames they are meant to be so they can go into the world and set it on fire!

I have a rather large dog but as he gets older he doesn’t move very quickly. Every now and again I will panic thinking him to have passed away in his sleep. I wouldn’t begrudge him his final rest, as his life has been very good up to now, but what would I do with the carcass?

Yep folks, these are the shallow ponds my mind wades around in now and again.