Category: Blog Article

Some people gotta learn the hardway
I guess I’m the kinda guy
That has to find out for myself
I had to learn the hardway, Father
I’m on my knees and I’m crying for help

Now I’ve been high and I’ve been low
I’ve been some places that you will not go
I never thought there would come the day
When I wished I never would’ve lived this way
But I’ve been searching for a long, long time
I thought the devil was a friend of mine
I turned my back on everything that was true
And wasted years that belong to you

It took so long for me to see
That I’m a victim of nature and me
Left to myself I realize
I am the maker of my own demise

But you accept me every time and again
And never mention just how selfish I’ve been
Why must it always take me so long to see
That I have fallen but you will forgive me?

The warning signs are like flares in the night
Still I proceed my greed is in spite of the fire
I know that’s bound to burn
Why is it that I always gotta learn…
The hardway, the hardway, I had to learn the hardway
The hardway, the hardway, I had to learn the hardway

(DC Talk Lyrics)

“I need some rage!” A friend of ours recently said that in a conversation we were having about music and something in that chat struck me. She was talking about the music we use to get us rolling in the morning while we drink our coffee and lower the window for some chilled air, hoping for an awakening of our mind and bodies.

I had to go back and refresh myself on the word rage. The dictionary defined rage as, “violent anger, furious intensity, burning intensity or passion.” It dawned on me that rage literally was an expression of frustration. (Your heart is the wellspring of life – Pr 4:23) I understood the rage our friend spoke of. I have to live in a fallen world amongst fallen comrades who suffer the same afflictions as me. How could one not feel rage?

Disappointment, stress, pain and any other given pressure cooker item drives us into our responses. Today my thoughts focused on something interesting in the definition about rage. “Burning intensity and passion.” I recognized something deeper and special. I see my friend as a potential fire, ready to be lit. Once that rage is loosed to be expressed in “passion burning with intensity”, I get chills knowing the path will blaze brightly. I would imagine my friend as a literal “Firestarter” referencing an old Stephen King movie about a young girl who could telekinetically light fires in her “rage”.

With this thought in mind I would agree with my dear friend, she needs some “rage!”

Jeremiah 18:3-4

So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.

It is no secret my life was less than perfect for many years and I wasted more time than I care to think of on my own selfish endeavors. I didn’t help anyone nor myself with how I spent my precious “60 seconds at a time” ticking away. When I realized that time was slipping away I felt sorry that I didn’t have the life I wanted.

I am sorry no longer and the life I have is all I could want and so much more.

My changing life is not my own work but that of my Maker. I was the marred pot but it was not my maker who hindered my beauty. I was marred because I tried to “make myself” without understanding the beautiful plan the potter had for me to begin with. He took my damaged clay and continues to remold me into something more beautiful and better for use.

How precious are the hands of my Father.

Bobby, who you will all come to know as “husband unit” or some other sickeningly affectionate name is a science fiction fan. What this has meant to my own life is time spent watching “B” grade movies and collecting most every “Star Trek” episode known to exist. Now mind you I don’t hate it but there were some episodes I simply wanted to take back from the “time thief”. (I’ve often felt those scripts were written by lesser talents not gifted with any vision!)

Of the more inventive Star Trek episodes were those dedicated to “the Borg”. I won’t bore you with details other than to say they were like parasitic creatures that consumed all creativity and individuality until you were conformed into some mindless zombie that only sought to destroy or make others like them called, “the collective”.

Today’s environment seems an awful like that. We seek to be like the stars on the magazine covers or the hip hop artists we emulate with all of our being until nothing original exists. On the other side of that thought is how when someone really is original they are either persecuted for their non-conforming speech or else they are hounded to be pigeon-holed into a box others can relate to and duplicated until they themselves are no longer original or relevant.

Society would have us believe “Resistance Is Futile”. We should buy what is sold, watch what is popular, listen to what is conforming and give up all dreams to be ourselves. When was the last time you watched one of those “entertainment” shows where they weren’t selling you someone else’s idea of who you should be like?

sowing-seeds-of-love

I have an 80’s tune rattling in my brain…”Sowing The Seeds of Love” by Tears for Fear. At that particular point in my life I didn’t get it! To me the song was just a pretty cool tune that harmonized well and had some interesting lyrics for sure but I really didn’t get it. The truth of this became so obvious in the upsetting nature of how I struggled from day to day for so many of those years, literally living out what I had been sowing into my everyday life and not much of it was in love.

I am now captivated by the verse written in this song, “Anything is possible when you are sowing the seeds of love, Anything is possible.” I am seeing this possibility lived out every day now and I am “fully joy” about every confirmation of its manifestation. More interesting to note is the verse, “They look to the skies for some kind of divine intervention.” I am of the opinion we are already divinely intervened if we have courage to ask for help and the faith to believe we are heard. May we all get past the skeptic friends or family who make fun of us for wanting a better future and just go for it with all of our hearts. Sow some of your own seeds in love and grow a crop of incredible yield!

“Be kind for everyone you know is facing a great battle.” I don’t know who originally wrote those words but they seem appropriate when starting out the day. Be it drivers on the freeway or that rude gentleman who stands before a counter barking orders about his coffee, I have to remember they may be in a battle of some kind. In my head I want to just tell the man to give it a rest and we won’t even discuss the hand motions I’d like to give away to other drivers.

Restraint has become a kindness for me even when it is painful. Not doing what every impulse in my aching body wants to do is a sort of painful non-action. Later that spirit of wisdom within tries to encourage me with words like, “See, aren’t you glad you didn’t say or do that?” I will admit my teachable nature can still be defiant and I have been known to answer back, “No! That guy deserved a good smack.” Most of the time however I am glad for my turning the other cheek.

I wonder at times for the hurts people have suffered that they feel a need to take it out on the world and then I am reminded of my own hurts and understanding floods through me. I am forgiven so I must live to forgive.

There are some mornings I feel like a wilted plant when I awake, kind of drained and empty of energy or ambition. I know a decent cup of tea and some breakfast will fix what ails the body but only the word will give me that deep drink I need to be truly refreshed.

I have been drawn to Zech 4:6 Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit

I heard that spoke yesterday and pilfered through my journal to find it this morning. It was a refreshing thing to read again and come to rest in that place of peace.

We belong to our pets! There, I said it. I have thought about it enough I figured it was time to just let go of it. Most people say they have pets but I think we get that wrong, I really think the pets have us. When we start out in life and decide to raise our children most of us can relate to dreaming of the day when our children are grown and have families of their own, in other words they finally move out of the house! Now you have that office you always wanted and your parking space is never blocked by the car that hasn’t been cleaned out in a year.

Something happens though, we get the notion perhaps a pet would be nice to have around the house. Make it seem less empty now the stereo isn’t blaring at 10,000 decibels. They are so cute too and wouldn’t it be nice to have someone fetch your slippers or maybe the paper if you haven’t sold out for on-line news channels.

Our reality of such notions haunt us in the form of a fatted cat and an enlarged dog. We are not pet owners we are now pet servants! If they are not fed on time the household becomes fraught with tension and the noise level starts to ramp up with each ticking of the clock.

When we first bought our house the carpet was so lovely and plush, now it is matted and intertwined with the animal fur. Why don’t they ever go bald? Are scientists studying this phenomena in order to help stop male balding?

Our vacations are no longer something we can take on the fly. Leave the house for a weekend? Forget it! Our back yard has become tantamount to Bosnia with all the holes dug over the years. My garage used to house vehicles and now it serves as a cat hotel with a lovely sand beach combed each day for the comfort of its guest.

As I ready myself this morning to leave I fluff up the towel which I lay over my arm in proper form to once more wait upon the true masters of the house. Food and water are on their way…..

Is this what it means to have a servant’s heart?

My husband gave me one of the thinnest paperbacks I may have ever read in my life yet it had the most profound impact upon my thinking, reminding me even now that it’s not necessarily how many words you use but what you speak. It was written by someone whose life was touched by this man who served the Lord.

“Two things will cause you to leap out of yourselves into the great promises of God. One is purity, the other is faith. God has no room for the man who looks back, thinks back, or acts back.” Smith Wigglesworth

A leap of faith can be mighty scary but to stand still is scarier still!

“When people become Christians, they don’t at the same moment become nice. This always comes as a something of a surprise. Conversion to Christ and his ways doesn’t automatically furnish a person with impeccable manners and suitable morals.” 1 Corinthians – The Message.

Can we talk openly? Duh! This makes me want to literally take out my baseball bat that has “DOH!” stamped along its thicker portion. (Now do you really believe I have a bat to beat people? If so you are living in my own head and perhaps should get some serious help too, lol!) I grew up with two very aggressive brothers so forgive my immediate reference to violence….let’s just say it was “survival of the fittest”, but in my defense it was literally “survival of the quickest”. I know all you “sisters” will relate!

Back to the point though…whatever gave anyone reason to think a person could change overnight? Even Paul who was significantly touched by Jesus’ own hand had to be led by others until his sight was restored.