It was just a bridge near the path I was on, but today it caught my eye. Someone had gone out of their way to tag it recently. Nothing fancy or interesting, just a first name and a number. I wondered about the artist. Did he/she lack attention to the degree he/she needed to rebel against decorum and local laws in order to make the statement, “I am here!”

We walk in a sea of pain all around us. The sea being those who feel either unnoticed or unwanted. I confess my own blindness in this area. On any given day I can walk on either side of such pain but I know the balm to such lies in my feelings. The balm is truth. I am never alone and I am never unwanted.

“We are only human!” These were the same words sung from two different songs I heard today. One was by a Christian artist and the other a secular artist. I didn’t separate the two thoughts since they both carried the same heart. A longing to be so much more, yet an understanding how much we can fail in our weaknesses.

What does it really mean when we are crying out about our humanity? Our very soul recognizes the need for saving grace. For a love beyond anything we can ever produce within ourselves. How painful to know what might be, and yet to finally understand we will never accomplish it in this plane of existence.

The easy answer offered to all comes under attack from the one who seeks our destruction most. Christ is love and to come to that understanding seems so simple. The liar recognizes this and puts a burden called “religion” on top of the very name meant to give hope.  It’s time to peel back that suffocation and reveal once more the pure message of love.

My clothes were shabby as I stood outside the store waiting for its opening. Others were coming to the sidewalk. They were dressed in fine linen and carried themselves as though important. I stepped aside as glances in my direction made known that I didn’t belong here.

A rattling of the locks made all aware it was time for the shop to open. The storekeeper opened wide the doors, and with a huge show of fanfare, smiled and waved for all to come in and partake of his wares. One by one the persons who had come after me, pushed past in a rush to enter in. Barely did they notice anything of me except to offer silent contempt.

Being last, I started to enter the doorway but the storekeeper stepped in front of me to block my coming in. The smile was gone and judgment stared from his eyes at me.

“You don’t look like you have any money on you. Well do you?” he asked snidely.

I could not lie, “No sir, I am not carrying any money.”

“Then you are not welcome. Go away from here!” His finger pointed to the road out front.

I turned away and walked out to the road. Some gravel had gotten into my worn shoe tread and I kicked the asphalt a couple times until it fell out with the dust. Putting my hands in my pockets I could feel my small book and the pouch of gems I carried. I could hear many voices behind me filled with awe and wonder at the storekeeper’s perishable goods.

I did not look back.

HOPE

Our past is in this word

Our now is in this word

Our future is in this word

Hold onto this word

“It’s a heartache, nothing but a heartache”….another tune in my head I hadn’t heard in too many years to number. I couldn’t remember the other words and I understood they didn’t matter. My own heart had been aching for weeks and at first I tried to put definition to the reasons, but nothing fit.

The reality started to come into focus. I had been given a new heart and it was in tune with the One who loves us beyond understanding; One whose heart aches so much for each and every one of us. With each turning away, the heart is pricked afresh, aching for a love unrequited.

Valentine’s day….flowers, candy and love? A reason to remember what love should be. We give “hearts” without thought beyond the sweetness of doing so. Wouldn’t it be amazing to give our hearts fully to the One who taught us the real meaning of love?

1 John 4:19 (NLT) We love each other because He loved us first

A Valentine’s day potluck was going on but I just wasn’t feeling it and I left to take a drive. A light rain had started as I headed toward the countryside. The trees and grape vines were without leaves or limbs. Winter’s grip seemed to be so tight, but along the roadside were bursts of mustard plants defiantly showing their bright yellow.

I could feel a heaviness want to choke me up. Finding a place to pull over for a bit, I shut off my wipers, letting the windshield become a blur of water. An occasional car passing shook my car with wind gust. I was looking at the road before me but saw nothing at all.

My mind wanted to make its own conclusions but I reached for a truth. I had been here before. This was the place where things didn’t make sense, and my feelings would lie to me. I leaned on the Rock waiting for my strength to return once more.

“Where was the body?” It was the only question playing over and over in my head. At first I searched casually but when I couldn’t find it within reasonable proximity, I went into overdrive trying to locate it.

The body I was looking for was that of a cricket. While I was vacuuming the day before, I had seen a dead cricket on the floor next to my glass door. Not being a fan of bugs, I chose not to run over it with my sucking machine. Why take the chance of seeing those critter parts being poured out when I emptied my dirt container? Being a typical woman, I figured I’d ask my husband to dispose of the thing with a napkin.

The man was out for the evening and I was tired. It’d be strange to leave him a note for such a silly thing I thought, and opted to tell him in the morning when I saw him. I went to bed.

Now here I was. The coffee pot was turned on and I went to sit in a chair by the door. Looking down at where the cricket should have been, I only saw two small insect legs, the body was missing! For sure the thing had been dead, and even if it wasn’t, where would it go without legs? When I had exhausted all search of reason, I poured a cup of coffee and went to sit at my table, distancing myself from the “legs” without a body. My mind wouldn’t be still.

That’s when I heard it….a long meow-howl. In sauntered the fat gray furry pet my husband loved unreasonably. Parking himself in the middle of our kitchen rug, he locked eyes with me. Those huge yellow orbs sent a chill up my spine. With a flick of his head the cat went about licking himself as though all was normal. I knew it wasn’t. Apparently the man’s cat didn’t like legs.

I am of a generation longing to be defined by my defiance! The status quo is unfit for the mind longing to step into the dreams and promises which are ours to have. After all we are a chosen generation and this is not an age group thing, it’s a now thing.

De-fi-ance….1: the act or an example of defying; bold resistance to an opposing force or authority…2: disposition to resist: willingness to contend or fight

Now is the time to embrace a truth written before the beginning of time as we know it…but what of the cost? Will we defy the comfort of fitting in with our world around us?

“A voice crying in the wilderness…..”

I begin to look at this from life experiences. What seemed like a sentence I thought I understood now becomes so much more. Time and space is the wilderness. We cry out but noise competes with our voice frequencies. Suddenly we can’t be heard over the television, schedules or text messages. Perhaps our voice is too weak?

I think about John being separated from the world and yet those who heard his voice came to seek him out for what he had to share. They wanted to hear his voice. What made these seekers different from others? What was it about his voice that drew people to come to him?

An important word to remember is, “My sheep hear My voice”. While John was in the wilderness “he grew and became strong in the spirit” until it was time for him to begin speaking. John’s separation from the world was also his opportunity to spend time being in the presence of God. We become what we behold. John’s voice became the echo of what he himself had been hearing.

Our weak voice may only be an indication of our needing to spend more time in the presence of the one who can strengthen our vocal chords.

I was given permission to ride a motorcycle and having no common sense but much bravado, I took advantage of the opportunity to utilize this vehicle. I knew motorcycles but this particular one was bigger than me and had more power than I’d ever had access to before.

The excitement of the ride was wonderful and I felt confident I was in full control of this machine, right up to the point of an unexpected red light! I didn’t stop, but gunned through, only to be pulled over by a cop. In a later experience, I tried to park and putting my foot down in a patch of grease, it slipped and I dropped this large machine onto the asphalt…a major faux pas, especially since I did not own the motorcycle.

Had I been given access to power beyond my ability and wisdom to use? A life lesson for sure and one I can only appreciate recently.