DebraBee

There are hours when upheaval shakes the very foundations of our household. When our family is up in arms with battles over situations upon them, we too are drawn into the war. In the anxiety of the moment, our first instinct is to just react to the fight. This isn’t always the best wisdom however. We have to realize how important it is to have a battle plan.

We can look to history for our lesson in this. The biggest victories all came about because of strategic planning. In the middle of the war I am pulling myself up a chair to look over the maps of land before me. Now is the hour when I will need to confer with the greatest of minds for wisdom in how to go forth into mine and my family’s victory. Quietly I will listen and learn.

Proverbs 2:6 For the Lord gives wisdom, and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding

A lesson to surprise me is the power there is in weakness. My independent nature is taken to task when I have to lay it down and admit my need for help. In times past I preferred my sense of well being and ability to sustain a natural strength in my daily walk. This is not the way it works for me anymore. Once I gain my own momentum there is usually a rightly placed reminder to stumble me into a place of humble awakening. In this place of weakness I am quiet and remember where it is my strength comes from.

Psalms 28:7  (NIV)  The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

I love a good oxymoron and especially a way to use it. A band from years ago called Bad Company did a song called “Ready For Love”, where they lamented about heading toward a bitter end but held out for love to save the day.

It reminds me of the “bad company” Jesus kept when he walked the earth. The religious crowd blasted him for hanging out with the undesirables. Jesus however saw them as looking desperately for love. He wasn’t waiting in the temple expecting them to come to church, he went to find them in the places they were at. He sought after their hungry hearts.

If we could truly look into hearts we would see the same thing Jesus saw. We would see those seeking love in all the wrong places and show them an alternative desire for their passionate longings.

A  song I was listening to said, “what’s it gonna be ’cause I can’t pretend”. The song itself was referring to a love relationship where the singer wanted more. It yanked at my heart strings for the ache and longing so many of us have within, but we hold back our expression for the thousand reasons we fear sharing love.

What is the biggest reason we withhold? Rejection! That pain of loving someone who may not love you back in the same way you long to be loved. Being a wounded lover myself, I have to revisit that scar and the damage laid upon my soul because of it. Is it really worth holding back my all because I didn’t get my expectations?

I have learned my expectations had been wrong to begin with. The best thing about loving someone is to love them without expectation. That’s where the real freedom lies, in giving away love without restraint.

Isa 35:3-4 (The Message) Energize the limp hands, strengthen the rubbery knees. Tell fearful souls, “Courage! Take heart! God is here, right here, on his way to put things right and redress all wrongs. He’s on his way! He’ll save you!”

What more can be said?

Do you know where you’re going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to? do you know?
Do you get what you’re hoping for?
When you look behind you there’s no open door
What are you hoping for?
Do you know?

Diana Ross lyrics “Do You Know Where You’re Going To”

The previous thought is a luxury. What I mean by that is so many in this world have no freedom to contemplate the question of what to do with their lives. Isn’t it time those of us who have freedom of choice give serious consideration to what our hopes should be? Not only for ourselves, but to make a serious impact on the hopes others may have.

Wasted time? Well time was all he had on his hands these days so wasted was all he wanted to be. Why should he give his mind over to his surroundings? These fools weren’t even worth speaking to. Losers, every one of them! Wasn’t he different? Wasn’t he better? His eyes started to water so he shoved the back of his palms tight against them, rubbing until his sockets stung. He was not like these losers! Rolling over he tried to sleep once more. His dreams were his own; here the guards could not dictate where he went.  In dreams his time was never wasted.

….He stood next to a pool of water more beautiful than anything he had ever imagined. A man was next to him he had never seen before but it just felt okay, they had known each other forever. There were fishing poles propped up on the bank and he could see the lines were being pulled taut. Big fish were to be had and he felt elation. He and the man walked to the poles together and began to reel in their catch. He wanted this joy always and looking to the man he started to tell him this, but the words caught in his throat. Instead he said, “It’s time to send me back Lord, I know what I am meant to do”….

A whooping siren brought him to consciousness. He heard the locks release and guards began to holler, “Step out!”

When you stand along the rim of Crater Lake looking down at the azure water, there are intense blue waters so brilliant it’s as though the lake has been dyed.  I didn’t actually want to go to this place. I couldn’t imagine what would be fascinating about looking at a hole in the ground filled with water. My husband was gentle to persuade me it would be worth the drive. My perception of a hole in the ground changed that day. I think I had expected a dog bowl scene with only muddy water from some leftover volcanic ash.

Expectation is a funny thing. In my preconceived mind’s eye picture of what this place was going to be and look like, I almost dismissed a possibility to the point I wasn’t going to go out to explore it. I almost held onto my false opinion of what it was and in my selfishness I might have talked my husband into not going.

He instead was able to influence me to come see the new thing I hadn’t yet seen. I was able to enjoy this adventure because he was gentle in his persuasion. He came to me with an idea I’d never had on my own and he made his dream one I could be welcomed in too.

My shirt still had the evidence of a rather bad day glued to my chest area. Somehow I had missed my Kleenex while addressing the tail end of my cold symptoms. I looked at it in the mirror and started laughing. Once I started to chuckle there was no holding it back and I could feel the tension draining away.

Thinking back to my morning I probably should have been forewarned of a possible rough ride. I had rolled down my window to do the dainty thing women do when they don’t have any tissues handy in the car; I tried to spit. It was still dark out and I did not notice I hadn’t rolled my window down far enough so I got to clean up my car door when I got to work. Things just seemed to pile on from there.

Laughing at myself I went back to look at my journal. I had written a desperate prayer earlier in the day, a cry for help when I didn’t think the stress level could get any higher. Time to add a note to the prayer….”answered in full with a laughter chaser!”

I looked at my shoes not wanting to lift my eyes; an irreverent moment to behold a meaning and purpose for why I stood there at all. I couldn’t breathe. I listened quietly not even wanting the pounding of my heart interrupting what I was hearing. It wasn’t the words; it was the awe for the moment we were living.

Why me? How had I come to this place? Never had I been more aware of a divine plan for me. Only a few persons were with me. No hoopla, no fanfare, no loud songs or voices lifted. No acknowledgement of me whatsoever. It wasn’t about me. That’s what made it perfect, it wasn’t about me.