In my restlessness of thoughts, I stood at the window looking out at the dark of night. A fog bank was obscuring all the stars, yet the lights of men lit up the night. For all my efforts I could not capture the truth of what I could see with only my human eyes. I instead closed my eyes to sit alone, asking to see beyond the false lights.
“Desperate but not serious”! I was cleaning up some of my mp3 files on my computer and I stopped on this one. The song no longer mattered to me but the title stung me in the heart.
Friends, family and even new acquaintances came immediately to mind. In the crush of the recent economics, over and over again I was hearing the same story with different details. “I’m desperate!” being the repetitive statement either spoken or implied.
I can empathize and share what material goods I am able, but I know I’m not the answer for the real help and hope they need. I am only a light shining in a dark situation. As I point to Jesus as the final solution, often the initial response is very heartfelt. Their desperation draws them to wonder if maybe He really is their answer, but so often they walk away never taking this truth seriously.
Luk 12:29-31 “And do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind. For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things. But seek the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you.”
I’ve been made blue, I’ve been lied to
When will I be loved
I’ve been turned down, I’ve been pushed ’round
When will I be loved *
1John 4:9-10 (NLT) God showed how much He loved us by sending His one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through Him. This is real love–not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
* Lyrics by Everly Brothers“Am I worth the effort?” Face to face, I come into contact with that question. The words are not that direct. I only hear it when I listen to hearts speaking.
When I listen with my own ears, I find myself disappointed. My logic and even my words seem to fall upon deaf ears. Truthfully, I find myself wanting to walk away from the problem of helping because I can only think, “What will change?”
About the time I desire to again seek my own comfort……I hear the truth…
Luke 6:36 “Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.”
In the story of the prodigal son we know he asked his father for his portion of inheritance early. Soon after the father gives his son what he’s asked for, the son leaves his home squandering his wealth in wanton living. Now with his money gone, a famine comes and we learn this son “began to be in want”.
Even in the position of “wanting” this son still remained prideful to try and take care of his own needs by hiring himself out. It’s not until his hunger is so great as to drool over pig slop that we read, “but when he came to himself”.
An awakening needs to happen in our hearts today. America is rich with wealth and we are very busy being distracted with our wanton living. We need to “come to ourselves” before we reach “being in want”, or we too will be taught humility in a way we never dreamed could happen to us.
Chores to be done always, so I put on some Stevie Wonder. About the time my wooden spoon began to stir the sauce I broke out in laughter. My stereo was blasting a great message…”Here I am signed, sealed, delivered, I’m yours“!
Signed…Isa 49:16a I have written your name on the palms of My hands.
Sealed…Eph 1:13 In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise.
Delivered…Psa 56:13 For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.
I’m Yours….Psa 119:94 Save me! I’m all yours. I look high and low for your words of wisdom.
He didn’t ask many questions but when he did, I could see by the look in his eyes how serious he was. He turned to my friend first and then to me to say he wanted to know….“Why do you guys like me?”
I thought my heart was going to break, but I took care to guard my emotions. My friend and I used different words, but the answer was the same, “he was worth loving.” It was easy to see he didn’t know what to do with such truth; the explanation too simple for his wounded heart and thoughtful mind. His eyes filled with tears and he wiped them away. We kept talking for a short time until it was time to leave.
Once in my car I released the emotions touching my heart. I knew what song was playing in his soul. He was in a battle between what the Lord was speaking to him in truth and what the voice of the enemy was speaking to him in lies…..
Enemy, familiar friend
My beginning and my end
Knowing truth, whispering lies
And it hurts again
And it finds me
The fight inside is coursing through my veins
And it’s raging
The fight inside is breaking me again *
* Lyrics Red, Nothing And Everything
My feet hit the trail early and I was pleased to find myself alone in the cloud cover. I could see plenty as I walked but the distances were masked in the misty gray. By the time I got to the small lake my mind was emptied of all my own thoughts and I began to be refreshed.
I could feel the tears on my cheeks become chilled in the cold air and taking off my glove I wiped them from my face. I had no sadness, but I no longer wondered why sometimes the tears would just begin to fall. I sensed a beauty in them indefinable.
All around me was silence, but for the sounds of nature. An ache in my stomach brought to mind a certain anticipation I couldn’t grasp well. I felt deeply in love, yet unable to be satisfied for the depths of my desires. The more time I spent in the presence of the One I loved, the more I longed to be nowhere else.
Son 5:8 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you- if you find my beloved, what will you tell him? Tell him I am faint with love.
Quietly I look for You
Seeking, ever seeking
More I ask, so much more
My hunger seems insatiable
My thirst unquenchable
I am inconsolable
Come Lord, come
Being a culture so drenched in media, many forget what real courage looks like. Courage is standing in faith while face to face with that fear or struggle trying to blow your house down. The storm blowing can be financial, relationships, health or other. Still it takes courage to stand in faith, but it’s faith which keeps us anchored properly to the Rock.
I was witness to tremendous acts of courage recently. A man laid his pride down and simply asked for prayer. He was angry. A woman laid her pride aside to admit she was giving herself over to fear. We often hide our emotions and struggles rather than let anyone help us confront them. These acts of courage and faith impacted me mightily.
Deu 31:6 Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”
Rom 1:17 For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “THE JUST SHALL LIVE BY FAITH.”
