Category: Blog Article

The questions ruptured my heart and I sunk to my knees in response, “would you know love, if it came up to your face, would you know love if it happened to be grace*”? Mourning pressed upon me. Too many people did not know the truth of what love really was. Upon learning the name of Jesus, a layering of religion begins to cover love like a blanket of so much dirt.

Hollow efforts take the place of enjoyable relationships, what were once gatherings now became commitments. Mere words echo the same messages over and over. A distortion of what love should be twists up hearts. Where love had been an open invitation, the religious spirit has turned it into a begrudging duty.

Upon my knees I take up my hidden cloth of prayer. I let my tears pour onto this cloth and wipe away at the grime trying to hide the beauty of love’s truth.

*Would You Know Love by Jessie Goodman

Heavy thoughts kept trying to come upon me and the weight of them began to bend my frame of mind. I could feel them wanting to manipulate me. Wanting to manipulate what I would do. I spread my spiritual limbs outward as wide as I knew how, reaching ever upwards. One by one the negative parachutes dropped onto my branches.

A smile spread across my face in remembrance of who I was. “In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for His own glory.”* I gathered each of these parachutes from my thoughts and journeyed to the water’s edge. One by one I threw them into the current to be carried away by truth.

*Isa 61:3b

He spoke to share what was upon his heart but something seemed wrong. The longer he spoke the less he communicated. A famous St. Francis of Assisi quote crossed my thoughts, “preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words”. In our culture this concept seemed like a lost treasure. My heart hurt for this man and so many like him. Leaning my head back I could hear words from a song begin to play in my mind.

There’s so much I want to say

But it’s locked deep inside

and if you look in my eyes

we might fall in love again

I tried to say I love you

But the words get in the way

*Song by Gloria Estefan, Words Get In The Way

Violins lament longing. Drums beat out a heart cry. In silence I sit listening to love being shared. I find depth of understanding in the song itself. No clumsy words to say a thing. Expression is perfect when we allow ourselves to be who we are meant to be. Loving God can be so easy when we throw away the box we try to put Him in for how He will speak to and through us.

Do you know me? Because you know my name, do you know me? Because you read some of my words, do you know me? When you cross my path and decide to talk to me, do you know me? When you need help to pray and call me, do you know me?

Imagine how Jesus must feel?

A famous rap artist speaks, “my name is” and the whole world takes note! It’s proclaimed upon every airwave media within the terrestrial planet’s capability. The declaration of self and one’s ability screams over and over again because it seeks affirmation.

Elsewhere are other “rock” stars performing; declaring a name other than their own. Their stage is not limited to a terrestrial plane….Jesus is boundless

A buzz phrase sizzles in the community of those who seek something more than themselves; “social justice”. We need to have eyes to recognize what true justice looks like or we may be swept away by distractions. Emotional exhaustion will culminate without true hearts moving in love, mercy and compassion.

My memories held me in a cocoon. I felt trapped within. My body and mind hurt to sort them out.  I lay still, waiting for revelation of hope and truth. In this place of rest a catharsis takes place. Soon enough I emerge into freedom.

She sits in a corner wondering, “does anyone see me?” She says nothing to draw attention to herself. HE watches her and says “I SEE YOU”! HE reaches out HIS arms to embrace her with truth and encouragement. HE is gentle and slow. She has not yet eyes to recognize HIS love. Her heart is curious to wonder, but she is scared to draw near to this much truth. HE will wait for HIS bride.

Anger was waging war within my soul and I was right to feel it. The difficult part was understanding how to focus its rage in the right direction. Words come registering the truth of who we are and what we are meant to do.

“Back off I’ll take you on, head strong to take on anyone, I know that you are wrong and this is not where you belong” *

Eph 6:12 (CEV) We are not fighting against humans. We are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world.

* Lyrics by Trapt, Head Strong