Fence Dancing In Grace

Fence dwelling is not for the stubborn or opinionated personality. I try to be teachable in my spirit which is not to say I back away from truth. It’s a constant balancing act.

The world is vying for my “soulish” nature which desires to make choices. My soul wants to just get along and my soul wants to be confrontational and tell others they are wrong if they don’t believe exactly what I do. Either choice can bring me obstacles or temptations.

My spirit is in alignment with the truth; it is the fence line laid out before me. I dance the dance of grace.

A Mighty Oak Tree

A small oak sapling grew on the hill and at first the tall weeds tried to choke it out but being so high up, the rain could give it the water needed to grow taller. The wind buffeted it and there was no protection from its onslaught but the sapling’s roots grew deeper and clung to the hill with all its might.

Now as I hike up to the top of the hill I am able to sit under the shade of its many branches. I am inspired to be like this oak tree and cling to my hilltop no matter what comes against me. Eventually I will be as strong as the oak tree I sit under.

Opportunity

In the quiet of the early morning hours I find peace. The traffic hasn’t jammed me up, the phones haven’t started ringing with needs and wants. Others haven’t brought their life situations to be heard yet. This time is all mine, so it’s important I recognize this opportunity and not waste it.

I come here to this secret place to hide away in love and worship. As I share my heart with my “Father” I become full once more. Once more I can walk out my door rejoicing for what new things await me. Once more I can pour out of the overflow of abundant love.

Gal 6:10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.

Somebody’s Watching Me

Toby Mac soundbite…..watch

Somebody’s watching me! Paranoid sounding don’t you think? It’s true though and with today’s digital age whatever you do has a multiplied chance factor to also be caught on someone’s memory chip.

Let’s go beyond the digital though. Let’s talk about how the “Big Guy” watches over us. We know for sure our actions are caught! My question to you….”when you know there is an actual camera you can see pointed at you, will you change your behavior?” If so what about the ultimate “Cameraman” looking through the big keyhole into your life?

Hurting People Hurt People

Pink Floyd’s “The Trial”

Good morning, The Worm, Your Honour,
The Crown will plainly show,
The prisoner who now stands before you,
Was caught red-handed showing feelings.
Showing feelings of an almost human nature.
This will not do.

We are always on trial! Doing the right thing means going against the current of what’s acceptable in today’s society. I know for fact my vindication will come but there are days when I just feel quite beaten up, like that little cartoon teacher man from the movie “The Wall”. He was being beaten by his controlling wife, and he in turn beat his students. How much truth was in that small visual sequence?

Our beaten souls we carry throughout life but what are we willing to do to heal them? Do we deny our scars or do we seek healing? Many persons simply ignore their wounds and keep opening the scar tissue through their own actions. A prime example: The father who beats his daughter; she in turn marries a man who beats on her and she accepts this. Sons born into this environment simply grow up thinking this to be acceptable behavior, carrying on the cycle of violence.

I know I am not bringing anything new to light but when will we take responsibility for our own healing? Why must we be a society blaming everyone else for our problems yet avoid accepting that we ourselves have the ability to change?

There is an analogy I have heard many times over the years; “hurting people hurt people”. Coming face to face with my own hurts was humbling but seeing the ways my hurting damaged those I loved was quite eye opening. My healing has come but not in a way I expected. Love walked in and it taught me to love those I’ve hurt and also those who have hurt me.

I made a choice. I laid down the proverbial beating stick in my own hand and began to hug those I cared about. This choice has changed my life and the lives of those around me.

Rom 12:9 “Don’t just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good.”

Persecution Worldwide

“Every religious idea, every idea of God, even flirting with the idea of God, is unutterable vileness….of the most dangerous kind….Millions of sins, filthy deeds, acts of violence and physical contagions…are far less dangerous than the subtle, spiritual idea of God.” Vladimir Lenin, Communist dictator of Russia

I like to read history and some of what I come across blows my mind. I wonder what kind of damage a person has to suffer to persecute and fear people of faith? History is littered with martyrs who gave up the ultimate sacrifice, their very lives. These martyrs are those who refused to deny faith in Jesus. (Please understand I am not speaking of the nut jobs who strap bombs on themselves to take other lives. I am speaking of those who confess Christ as Savior and love others enough to lay down their own lives.)

This begs a question, why are those of faith so quick to lay down their lives and yet we read so little of those who deny faith going to the same extremes. Well it’s always the same story really. Those without faith persecute and harm to point of death what they cannot understand. In their minds they just know that if they hurt someone bad enough they will recant. When they realize that these martyrs give up their flesh to death, how empty it must be for those who have taken that life. I wonder how many sleepless nights were suffered by these persecutors. How much they must toss and turn questioning their own beliefs or should I say lack of belief?

I am blessed to live in a country that allows me to pursue my faith without fear of persecution but I must be diligent not to lose those freedoms. I cringe when I see new laws being introduced that are subtle in their real agenda. Many come in the form of verbiage written to protect the rights of others while actually curbing my own.

As I sit in the comfort of my own home on soil where freedom to read what I want is allowed, I will remember those in restricted nations who suffer to even mention the name Jesus. There are still many persons in authority over other nations that believe as Lenin did. To pretend they don’t exist is to deny our duty to righteousness. We must remember our brothers and sisters always but it is not enough to just remember them. It is time to answer the call to arms and get out our swords of prayer. Let us call forth all the help that is needed and watch them become free.

Eph 6:18 “praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints-“

Quenching A Dying Girl’s Thirst

A couple we had never met was sitting in the small chairs and initially we smiled inwardly, thinking they had been encouraged by one of the flyers handed out for this emerging church plant. In our hearts we were pleased with every new brother or sister who found their way into these growing service meetings.

Shortly into the service we realized our new friends had not simply wandered in this day but had come by special invitation. He was a pastor who had brought his wife to be with us for this particular meeting. We were still just a small group of people meeting in a community center room with one passion in our heart, to share the gospel. This was his testimony and I have tried to write with integrity of what he shared with us.

Anjan was now a pastor who had been born and raised in India. He had lived in Calcutta, from an impoverished ghetto. His description of this place left us with unpleasant odors in our noses and visions of bare feet on filthy streets.

His pursuit of God had opened many doors and even brought him to America where he found himself in a Marin County church. In his own words this was quite ironic since he had come from incredible poverty yet found himself in such a bountiful environment. It was here he first laid eyes on his future wife, and although he desired to have someone so beautiful he couldn’t imagine her even speaking to him. He humored us with commentary regarding the lack of his physical stature compared to many of the other possible “Adonis” type suitors his wife may have taken notice of. He and his wife had been married for 13 years and despite this passage of time he still was humbled that God had blessed him with this beautiful woman.

His heart has been called to continue to help spread the gospel in his home country. He shared with us the facts of his homeland. India is a land of many idols where the gods served number 330 million. Jesus followers number 2% in this entire nation, a sobering statistic.

Anjan had initially been scheduled to talk for a few minutes but everyone was so taken by his life story no one could be bothered to interrupt what he was sharing with us. He had moved back to India with his wife and they did the best they could to share the gospel and train other pastors on this darkened continent. The following is one of the personal stories of their experience.

His wife had invited other women from the neighborhood over to their home to share a meal and just talk. He noticed a young girl about 17 who sat quietly in the corner not really saying anything. Later in the week there was a huge uproar in the village (his village is 50K people which is small in this country of billions). He learned that this quiet girl who had been in their home just a few days before poured gasoline all over herself and lit it, trying to kill herself.

Anjan was extremely troubled in his spirit by this, especially having the girl visit his home only days before. Later that night he heard God tell him to go see her. It was already kind of late in the night and he knew the journey would be at least another hour before he even got to the hospital where she lay. When he told his wife she was very concerned about his going because they could put him in jail. He already had many death threats against him for teaching about Jesus and the truth of only one God. He was taking his life in his hands by venturing to go to a hospital. Anjan told his wife he had to go and started looking for a black pair of pants and a white shirt. His wife didn’t understand why until he asked her where the stethoscope was. She knew then what he had in mind and became really fearful.

Anjan took the long trip to the hospital on his small motorcycle. Along the way he told God, “Okay, I am going as you told me but I won’t lie, so unless you open the doors they won’t let me in.” Upon reaching the first security checkpoint he was surprised to be waved on through without challenge. When he arrived at the hospital itself, security once more just waved him on through. Now in India, men are not allowed in the women’s ward and never into the burn unit area.

Once in the hospital he asked some workers where the burn area was. They called him doctor and he didn’t correct them as they pointed him in the right direction. He was finally at his destined place and asked for the young girl by name. The nurses pointed her out. She didn’t look anything like the young girl he remembered from his home only days ago. He sat down beside her and re-introduced himself. Realizing how thirsty this injured woman was he asked some nurses for water. They protested that she was only allowed intravenous fluids and after some serious discussion, finally agreed they’d give him some water but it would be his responsibility.

Anjan sat with that broken girl for a couple hours, listening to her tell her story. She had been abused by her husband and family to such a point she just didn’t want to live anymore. He listened as years of bitterness poured out of this burned body, all the while he kept dipping his finger into a glass of water letting the drops fall upon her lips and tongue, helping to quench a thirst.

Going back a second night, all the doors were opened once more. He sat with this girl, and dropped water from the tip of his finger again, this time holding her hand during their conversation. When it was time for him to leave he let go of her hand and her flesh came off into his own hand.

The next night he heard God tell him to go back again and this would be the last night. As he sat with the girl again he began to tell her of Jesus. He watched as tears started to flow from her eyes. Asking her if she’d like to accept Jesus as her Savior she answered yes. She died shortly afterwards.

There were not many dry eyes in the room of this small gathering. Anjan did not have tears though. He had passion. He knew as we all did, this young girl suffers no more but is with the Savior. We knew without words that he is thinking about all the others living in this vast world still looking for the Savior. He did not ask us for money. He didn’t talk of promising to save the masses. He merely told us his life is dedicated to teaching others of this amazing love so they in turn can share of themselves this same great promise in Jesus. His focus was simple; there needed to be more teachers to share the gospel.

Leave With A Full Heart

The work we do in our lives should matter to more than our bank account. I like my job but let’s face it, it’s not my life, matter of fact I call it my day job and merely something I do to pay the bills. The other useful thing about my job is interacting with people I wouldn’t have met otherwise. Knocking myself out for a fatter wallet is not what I’d think of as a worthy endeavor.

What is worthy? I’d have to say helping a friend who needs a ride. Spending time with my family. Talking to my best friend. Laughing even when things are tough. Giving my precious time to someone who just needs a little help too.

I came into the world with nothing in my hand but I will leave it with a full heart.

As he came from his mother’s womb,

naked shall he return, to go as he came;

And he shall take nothing from his labor

Which he may carry away in his hand. Ecc 5:15

Live The Awakened Dream

Dreams can be confusing and I have had a few that left me wondering at their meaning. Last night I dreamed of men in trench coats in a cold environment, I could also hear cold running water beneath the streets of their feet. Odd for sure but it’s not something I will linger over to decipher what it meant.

It’s much more interesting to live in the awakened dream, to live life in the here and now with intention and purpose. My own awakened dream is to stay purposed for a positive influence to others. This is not always easy because inwardly I want to withdraw and hide away from others. It’s a personality mechanism I have lived with most of my life. To force myself out into the world is purposeful and on those days when I can share laughter, hugs and genuine friendships, life is wonderful. I strive each day to live in this awakened state.

‘Mackin’ It

Toby Mac sings….

The dream is fading now I’m staring at the door
I know it’s over ‘cause my feet have hit the cold floor
Check my reflection, I ain’t feeling what I see
It’s no mystery
Whatever happened to a passion I could live for?
What became of the flame that made me feel more?
And when did I forget…
That I was made to love You