Month: November 2008

I walked up on a couple where the guy was being led in prayer by a friend to accept the Lord Jesus as his savior. The man seemed eager to accept and hear about the Lord. His girlfriend seemed more cynical and sat in the background.

You ever meet people you just know you shouldn’t do anything more than befriend? The holy spirit seemed to speak “kindness”. While my friend prayed for her hubby I engaged the woman in conversation. She had a dog named Chelsea. I wish I could tell you the woman’s name but I don’t remember it. Her dog was special to her though.

She herself was from Virginia and came to California with a husband who had since divorced her. This seemed quite painful for her so I didn’t touch that tenderness beyond her own offering of information.

She had siblings and a daughter whom she said did not approve of her lifestyle. Another tenderness, so I let her talk further. As we went back and forth in various chit chat she told of her daughter more and said “I put her in the Godbox.”

“Godbox? I’ve never heard that phrase before, what does it mean?” I asked.

“You know, I leave her in the Lord’s care, the Godbox.” She replied.

I then understood fully what she meant. It was that place we put those we are so desperately wanting to share our love with and yet feel helpless to communicate that love.

I laughed and asked her if I could quote her for my writing. Smiling with a huge grin she looked back at me for the first time with something that felt like trust and told me, “Sure.”

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I am a fan of the history channel. On this particular night the host went to Okinawa and actually found a man who had been 13 years old at the time when he and his family hid in the caves upon this island while it was bombarded with bombs.

Let’s talk about the graciousness of this man who would face his own demons. He spoke of horrors none of us have ever imagined let alone tried to live through. Still he walked these caves with the host to share with the rest of the world what a true nightmare war can be. A chilling moment came when he mentioned how there were human remains everywhere they walked in this cave. His memories were so sharp he was able to tell in detail the many ways he watched his neighbors die.

When the host asked him if he’d come back to this place, he was adamant to speak out in broken English how he’d never let this place into his physical presence but more importantly into his memorable life. I knew what he meant. He’d never again let the horror of the past interfere with his present or future life, it had stolen enough of his youth.

This man was a living witness of something we all need to recognize. We need to understand how we should never be robbed of today’s riches by yesterday’s thieves.

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

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“Who do you say I am?” A question asked by the greatest of all and yet one worth asking over ourselves.

How do people perceive me? Judging from conversations and emails I can say most don’t know me well at all. The compliments can distract me and the vague accusations smack of inner wounds not my own but those painted onto my back. We are creatures born to need encouragement, yet easily taken into self love by too much praise. On the other side are tender feelings scarred by rejection, quickly turning into hard walls of self protection.

Balance is key not only to our own survival but also to our own ability to help others. Our bible mentions the word humble sixty-eight times. Since there are only 66 books we must take note of this oft mentioned word. In retrospect it seems to represent very well the true definition of balance…..Humility, or being humble, is the defining characteristic of an unpretentious and modest person, someone who does not think that he or she is better or more important than others…..I strive to be this definition and yet openly confess how much I fall short of the mark.

Remember always, the only opinion to truly matter is our heavenly Father’s.

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War Inside….Lyrics by Todd Agnew

Do you feel the tension, do you?

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Do you feel the grind?
Do you see the battle ‘tween this
Flesh and soul of mine?

‘Cause there’s a war inside of me
Between who I want to be
And who I am

I do what I don’t want to do
And don’t do what I mean
I end up chasing all my nightmares
abandoning my dreams

Who I am is not who I want to be
Shackled like a slave when I know that I’m free
Wrong and right, truth and lie, death versus life
Everything in me is choosing sides
And the showdown begins

Do you feel the tension?

Okay, so there’s a new sheriff (Obama) in town and he’s looking to “change” the world we know. What does that really mean? Liberal judges, a cut in military support, higher taxes? All of these have been threatened but do we know this to be truth? Personally I don’t want to paint the guy as bad for this nation.

We need to take responsibility for our own actions as a whole. Those who voted for him are our neighbors, friends and family. Will we separate ourselves and point at others saying he’s yours not ours? How silly could that be? Let’s embrace the leadership we have been given and do what we must to be supportive.

We live in one of most free countries on our planet and although no man’s government is perfect we surely have opportunities other nations are striving to have. My hope is not in the man but in the heavenly Father’s mercy. As He has allowed this new king to arise we speak blessings over Obama and his family for their service to our country.

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Our nation stands before the precipice of a shift in ways we can’t even see just yet. In these last hours before our nation’s leadership is determined I simply pray. The outcome of our world has been determined long ago and there is no mystery that what we know will all come to an end. The big question is when? Until that question is answered we are asked to do our best to make the most of our hours here and now.

Many people feel that no move at all is needed because the outcome has been predetermined. I can’t say I agree with this. We are all given choices and our individual outcome is only determined by our actions and in some cases our inactions. In this moment I think of a young boy who is not yet four years old. He means life to me, both his and mine. My actions will determine how he may spend his school years and God willing, his college years, perhaps even his future career.

I am a woman with a cause and that’s to make a difference in the lives of those I love. My votes may seem small to them but my determination to be a woman of action and conviction will speak volumes into the future of the young in my own family. I will not live my life as an armchair quarterback. I will live my life on the field being in the moment where changes happen; knowing I was part of something special.

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He was a man in a wheelchair I saw on a distant sidewalk early in the morning. He seemed to be with a friend and I wondered at his lack of warm clothing. He was wearing shorts and although it wasn’t extremely cold a chill was in the air and rain threatened to fall.

A couple hours later I saw a woman with others behind her push this man’s wheelchair into the tent. He looked to be sleeping and she could be heard telling those nearby at how he had been found sitting in the rain, his friend nowhere in sight. A few folks grabbed some of the blankets they had been giving away to those in need and tried to wrap the man up for warmth. He didn’t stir too much.

One woman was so moved by compassion for this unconscious man she reached out her hand to his shoulder and quietly began to pray. As if one in accord the hands of all who stood nearby joined her and gently touching him, praying with her. The man’s eyes began to twitch but still he did not open them.

A paramedic team came to our side of the park and this man was wheeled out to them. I lost track of him for a couple hours in the crowds as I took a break to meet up with my husband across the park.

Returning later, I found the man was once again sitting in the tent wrapped in a blanket. He was now very much awake so I walked over to chat with him. His blanket was starting to fall off the back of the wheelchair so I grabbed it and put it back on his shoulders.  He thanked me and reached out his hand. I grabbed it in my own and he was so cold I used my other hand to wrap around his big paw. This is when I noticed he didn’t really have fingers, just stubs where his digits used to be. Looking at his other hand it was the same and he was also missing most of one leg.

Another young woman came up on the other side of him and he reached out his other deformed hand to her as well. She didn’t flinch and freely grabbed it. He apologized to her and said he wasn’t trying to grab her backside, he was just trying to lift his hand. She laughed and said she knew that. I watched them have a conversation and it was obvious this man enjoyed us holding his hands. I kept wondering how long it had been since someone had touched this man and showed him love and friendship?

Tomorrow is the day of decision and it’s a big one. Let us put our personal feelings aside and vote the consciousness of what is right and good. This doesn’t always agree with our politics or our agendas but it’s time for us to mature and do what is right for our country and what is right for the next generations. It’s time we sacrificed our selfishness of wanting something to serve us now and look forward to serving the needs of those in our future.