Fortress Of Solitude

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“I don’t need you! I can make it without you so there’s the door!”

Honest confession time….I spoke these words to someone I professed to love. Although it wasn’t anytime recent, the words still haunt me in a way I can’t describe. I wonder now how such words could have come out of my mouth?

The absoluteness of my screamed words would not to be as clear cut as I might have thought. I did walk away from this person but I really couldn’t make it without them. Now on the surface this may sound like a needy thing but it was far from what it looked to be. It took many, many years to come full circle in understanding.

I found ways not to need this person and even drew myself into such a pit of independence I nearly drowned in the quicksand of “self”. Around the quicksand I managed to build the “impenetrable” fortress of solitude. All the while I was dying of loneliness and lack of hope.

Years later as my heart has been softened by my heavenly Father, I was stunned to notice that the very person “I didn’t need” was back in my life. We have come full circle and found a place to admit we need each other. Not because our feisty personalities have become dormant but because we have seen “unity and love” to be who we were always meant to be.

Rom 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose.

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