I was watching a movie last night called “End Of The Spear” and I rather enjoy the redemptive story despite some of the graphic violence along the way. It reminds me not everyone has a smooth path to redemption. One of my favorite scenes is the plane flying low over a river as it wound its way through the jungle. I wanted to be in that plane just soaking in all the beauty from above. Not in the mix of the jungle but far above it.
My wanting to slam on the breaks today reminded me of that beauty and my longing for a peacefulness I should’ve had. Instead I could feel my peace slipping in and out of my grasp simply because I couldn’t control the circumstances around me. My inner-self has a safety valve I’ve used all my life. Withdrawal! When things are getting too “out of my hands” I start pulling away from all that is good for me. I don’t want to be in the mix but rather I seek to be so “above it” which is why I keep thinking about that plane.
I know my Father has other plans for me and He knows my flaws well. There will be no “withdrawal” this time. The “Master’s plan” is not for me to be “above” anything right now. It’s time to grow again despite my discomfort and as soon as I realize I am not the one in control and leave it to better hands, the sooner my peace will return while I continue my freefall into the great unknown.