I had been watching in the early hours, in the day and in the night. The ways of my heart needed close tending. My heart was desirous to wander away in the comforts of self. Often it’d be distracted with a mere voice saying “look” and I would stop “watching” my heart.
Pro 8:34 (NKJV) Blessed is the man who listens to me, Watching daily at my gates, Waiting at the posts of my doors.
I hadn’t been aware of when it started but I could feel tears upon my cheeks. Tenderness had captivated my heart. In the quiet and solitude I was allowed to look into the depth of Love. I danced a slow dance with Love, feeling His arms wrap around me intimately. Holding me close, I was encouraged to let my head rest upon Love’s heart and hear its beating. I began humming softly in response to this deep Love.
The moment drifted away, leaving within an ache and desire to share this Love with the world.
I saw her from a distance and I wasn’t even sure it was someone I knew, but she seemed familiar. When I got closer, I called out her name and sure enough it was a friend. She was crying and looked disheveled. Putting my arm around her shoulders, I asked her what was wrong.
She replied, “They even took my smile from me”. I felt agony in my heart. Clearly she was intoxicated and numbing her life pains on a regular basis. She was covered, head to toe, in words written in red ink. I asked her about the writing all over her body. Her answer surprised me for its genuine sincerity, “I figured if they are going to call me names, and label me, I may as well do that myself!”
A novel came to mind, “The Scarlet Letter”. The character in the story had been publicly disgraced because of her sinful actions. She was instructed by the community to wear a “red letter” upon her person as a badge of shame. I hadn’t thought about that book or its story in years, but here I was, face to face with its representation. And my friend had put it upon herself!
An irritation bothered me, but I stayed silent about it. I could see the insidious lie cleverly disguised. Self-righteousness was not only covering my friend, it was covering the people everywhere, all of us. She had put the pen to her own skin, but that was the cleverness in the lie. Just reinforce the words of how sinful she was and she’d accept it as truth. No one need feel guilty for a thing; after all, we didn’t actually write on her skin ourselves did we?
In the hour of the night
When things just seem so quiet
I wonder at my thoughts
In the place where I find quiet
In the place where I hear truth
I wonder at my thoughts
In the dawn of each day
I make myself be quiet
I wonder at my thoughts
Clearly I hear Him say
Watch and pray
Now watch and pray
What happens when what you were guarding against is now the very thing you are expected to guard?
Come with me into the dream of hope. Imagine a life without pain, without offense, without distrust, without poverty, without sickness, without war, without tears….now get the revelation it’s not a dream but a promise. His name is Jesus.
My head ached within and without. I swallowed some aspirin to deal with the pain I could. The deeper pain I trusted to the Master Healer. Mentally I just wanted to curl up and hug my knees. This outward expression would raise too many questions. I went about the day instead, being upright and mobile. I did exactly what was expected of me….
Silence can be both, helpful or harmful. Solomon shared his wisdom in Ecclesiastes, “a time to keep silence, and a time to speak”. James was even more directional when he shared, “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath”.
We live in a culture where it’s common for us to read/send tweets, facebook, text messages, news headlines and all are offering opinions or asking questions. I was just considering the habits we pick up from our culture. We are being indoctrinated to the habitual instant response.
In our instant response we sometimes miss the opportunity to really think about what has been said, but more importantly, how we should pay attention to the fact our words matter. Solomon shared wisdom on this with, “Words can bring death or life! Talk too much, and you will eat everything you say”.
In silence we can gain the wisdom to listen carefully, so when it is time to speak, we may have the right thing needing to be said.
* References from (NKJV Ecc b 3:7, Jam 1:19, CEV Pro 18:21)I write for the Lord and I am good with that. For the moment I need to ask Him if I am to say anything more?
I sat in the sun with a friend in her driveway. She had found photos of her life and I was privileged to share the memories with her as she laughed.
