Category: Blog Article

An old song sings for us to “dream on*”. I’d put the cd in my car and listened to it off and on for a few weeks. The words standing out are about “lived and learned from fools and from sages” and my heart aches. The hunger of wanting to know love fuels our desire. We don’t always live it from our own experience. Instead we stand outside, merely observing the experience, listening to others tell us what it should look and feel like.

The invitation is open to all of us to step into love….

* Dream On by Aerosmith

I had picked up an old book by a name someone had long ago mentioned to me. The title didn’t really appeal to me nor did the subject matter seem relevant for what I felt led to read recently. Once home I began flipping through the pages at random trying to determine if the book was meant for me or to give away.

I stopped flipping when I saw the word meekness….”Meekness implies submission to God. Not a passive submission that shrugs its shoulders and says, “Oh well, I can’t do anything about it anyway,” but an active submission, a choosing to accept God’s ways without murmuring or disputing. Meekness is neither weakness nor complacency.”*

I could feel a rising in my spirit wanting to holler, “Hooray! Yes! Yes!” to being meek. Although I’d been seeking its fruit I wasn’t quite sure that being meek would also let me be the radical woman of God I could sense I was being led to be.

Mat 5:5  Blessed are the meek, For they shall inherit the earth.

* Kay Arthur from Lord, Only You Can Change Me

I stood with my husband, feeling his hand hold mine. We shared the view of the valley. Standing in the pavilion, a man pushing a wheelbarrow passed just below us. We struck up a quick conversation about the beautiful view. He shared with us how far we could see the view on a “clear” day. I’d been here often times before to pray, looking to see the mountain ranges he spoke about. As he moved on I smiled. Saying nothing, I squeezed the hand of my husband.

It was nearly time to go speak. Comfort flooded me. Today I was going to see clearly from a mountain top I had been climbing my whole life. My view was about to change.

I sat alone enjoying the fresh air, the wind blowing my hair about. Clouds kept moving in and out bringing light sprinkles. Looking over the valley again I could feel a lump in my throat and I took off my sunglasses. I had been feeling buffeted against my back but now I turned around, face first into the wind. I wanted to hear….

Psa 104:4 (NLT) The winds are Your messengers; flames of fire are Your servants.

I saw her come near me. She wore a purple dress with jewelry that attracted the eyes. Her feet were adorned with lovely heels. Everything about her was attractive, but as she came closer, her face looked wearied and her eyes seemed dead. It was as if this woman wore her adornment but didn’t know the meaning of its beauty. Inwardly I could hear, “pretty on the outside”.

Rev 17:4 (NLT) The woman wore purple and scarlet clothing and beautiful jewelry made of gold and precious gems and pearls. In her hand she held a gold goblet full of obscenities and the impurities of her immorality.

A knock came in the early hours when I hadn’t yet fully awakened. My tired state wanted to ignore it, but a curiosity to know who it was calling upon me at this hour roused me to get up. I asked, “Who is it?” to which I could hear clearly, “It is I beloved.” Opening the door I welcomed Him who loved me. I didn’t need to ask Him to come in, my opening the door had already extended the implied invitation. I turned on a lamp to see by and reached for my worn bible while feeling the hunger within. It was time to dine together.

Rev 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.

There was a call for all who desired to come forward and “get all” of what the Lord had for them. Most everyone responded to the invitation, understanding that no one would be left out, no matter how long the line. I stood in the line with expectation in my heart, humming with anticipation. As people crowded closer trying to move forward, the reality of what it must have been like in Jesus’ day sunk in.

I let my mind imagine a flashback into history. Streets of dirt, open sewage ditches, lack of amenities such as soap, shampoo, toothbrushes and deodorant. No medical facilities, no stores with refrigeration, no welfare programs and the list went on. These were conditions in Jesus’ day, but even now poor nations still live like this.

The line I stood in offered none of the smells of desperation. A sense of humility fell upon me. This moment was not to be treated as “common”. I needed to know the desperate state of my own diseased heart; my heart which had much yet to learn of compassion, mercy, love and generosity. My heart needed healing so that I could give my life away fully, holding nothing back in reserve. Today I was asking for the “heart of a lion”!

Luke 9:24 (NLT) ” If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for My sake, you will save it.”

In between conversation, I looked out the window into the night. We were driving through the small foothills and I could make out their shadowy outlines against the night sky. The stars were hidden behind rain clouds dropping a steady drizzle on the valley. My mind was so full I just wanted to be on one of those hilltops. I imagined sitting in the rain for a while, feeling the wet soak into my clothes, into my hair, to know how absorption really worked.

Closing my eyes I asked silently, “Lord, give me a mind that can absorb all You have shared with me, because right now I feel like things are already falling out of my brain container.” In time I could hear I had asked the wrong question. It wasn’t my brain He wanted me to absorb with, it was my heart.

The parking lot is empty. Rows and rows, lined out for how we are expected to fall into place. Line upon line; all to fall into place. One by one the cars come into place. Wearily the attendant waves each onto a new space but the message doesn’t seem to be received.

“For the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy, now I will arise,” says the LORD; “I will set him in the safety for which he yearns.”  Psalm 12:5

I can barely look at headlines without feeling a wave of sickness come upon me. Facts are distorted, hype is encouraged and distraction a tool to keep our eyes away from truth. We are all being challenged in our perception. Generations have been lulled into sleep for what’s really going on, but is anyone hearing the bells of opportunity to awaken?