Closet Avalanche

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I have been digging around lately in myself and finding items I thought I lost and other items I thought I had finally given away as unwanted. Before I could start digging though I had to do something major. I had to open the door to my closet! You should see this space I have ignored for years, it’s jam packed with stuff. Memories, secrets, forgotten dreams, forgotten hopes, disappointments, hurts, offenses and all manner of luggage gathered over the years of my life. When I didn’t know what to do with these things it just made sense to store them somewhere out of sight.

My Abba Father asked me to open the closet and at first I thought I heard Him wrong but He was pretty quick to get my attention this was exactly what He wanted. I tried to drag my feet about it but I love Him so much I relented in the only way I knew how and that was to push on toward the task at hand.

I thought I could just open it a crack but something unexpected happened. Once I turned the handle it was like a dam breaking. The door flung so far open all the stuff that had been locked away in there started to fall out all over the place. I tried putting myself in front of it so as to lessen the mess. It didn’t help, I instantly found myself being buried under it; I had to step back just to breathe. Looking around at the clutter I know I’ll never be able to pack it back in. I also know I’m going to need some help to sort it all out. Time to call on my brothers and sisters.

January 20, 2009

Passionate Question?

January 20, 2009

Free Me

Free Me – Hyperstatic Union Lyrics

I was afraid to let You in
Would I break Your heart again?
So many times before
I could not keep my promises
But You were dying to forgive
You gave Your life for me to live
And now I know it’s time to find out
Who I am in Your eyes, in Your eyes

Come in my heart, come in my home
Come in, You’re welcome at Your throne
Come in and take control
I know that I need You to rule my life

(Chorus:)
Free me from within
I am ready for my new life to begin
Take me from this place
Oh Lord I seek Your face, I seek Your face

I’ve been a fool I’ve been wrong
I’ve been alone for too long
I’ve been thinking that it’s time I apologize
You’ve given life, You’ve given love
You’ve given all I can think of
You’ve given me the time to find out
Who I am in Your eyes

January 19, 2009

Jane Was Late For The Party!

“Johnny come lately” is a pretty common cliché. Most of us think about the dude who finally gets to the door just as the party is ready to break up. Just for giggles I looked up the term to see which website would have the number one definition. On Answers.com it was written “Johnny-come-lately Informal A newcomer or latecomer, especially a recent adherent to a cause or trend.”

I am interested in this simply because of how I view myself so let me be honest! I spent many years running away from “truth” and “God” because I had a skewed viewpoint of who He is. I used to think of Him based on the bare minimum of what I knew, the 10 commandments. These seemed pretty much a list of “don’t do this and don’t do that” but if you do then “DAMN YOU TO HELL!” Just being honest folks.

When I found out He is a God of mercy, compassion, forgiveness and absolute LOVE, I was stunned! Is this the same God? Welcome to the whole point of Jesus dying on the cross. Suddenly I realized He knew we could never keep all those commandments perfectly so in His perfect love for us He made a way for us to still be with Him in everlasting eternity. Jesus’ blood poured out was for us!

After so many years running away from a God I viewed as angry and penalizing I felt robbed! Robbed! I was lied to over and over again. These lies led me to waste so much time that was precious to who I was and who I was to others. With my blinders removed all I can say is I am a “Jane-come-lately” and I am ready to enjoy this party ETERNALLY!

Mt 20:12 ‘These men who were hired last worked only one hour, ‘they said, ‘and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.

Mark 10:31 “But many who are first will be last, and the last first”

January 18, 2009

Embrace The New

It surprises me at the warmth of our weather in the middle of our winter days. I find myself missing the chill for reasons I can’t understand fully. Perhaps it’s because this is what I have been trained to expect so when it doesn’t happen the way I think it should there is a certain confusion that disturbs me.

Change is good though, it’s training me to expect and embrace the unexpected and especially the new!

January 17, 2009

Empty Enough

“God gives His gifts where He finds the vessel empty enough to receive them.” C.S. Lewis

As I read this observation I can only anticipate how much He will fill me up. With every outpouring I have to wonder, “am I not yet empty enough”?

January 16, 2009

Challenging The Center Of The Universal Thought

What do you do when you find out you are right? Do you go around shouting to the world about it? Your family, your friends, your co-workers? And what if they think you are wrong? Would you stake your livelihood on it? How about the very safety of your person? How far would you, or can you, actually go to prove it? Most of us are not gifted in the science of astronomy, math or physics. This is a valid question though, what do you do with the truth?

History is a graveyard of notions and truths offered, yet those who often write it are unable to question the conviction of the hearts for the very persons they are writing about. Will Galileo be in heaven? He was a devout Roman Catholic but he questioned the facts as offered at the time by those who would believe in Greek logic. The ruling papacy of the age was threatened by his “scientific” approach, leaving the man in a defensive pose for his family, his livelihood, his line in the sand for the truth.

Most of us think this man questioned whether the earth was flat vs. round, when in fact he merely wanted to scientifically question and prove the earth orbited the sun, whereas others taught the sun and planets orbited the earth. I think my notice of this today is also a lesson of humility. The religious church leaders of the time felt so threatened by scientific knowledge they went out of their way to persecute Galileo’s very character and more.

My intention is not to point fingers at historical religious leaders but rather to learn from our past mistakes. If we truly seek the truth then let’s embrace it, however it comes. The history lesson in this man’s life was that he suffered so we may not have to. While his fellow astronomers, mathematicians and philosophers were looking into windows of past knowledge; they stopped looking forward or even upwards.

Galileo challenged the notion that we were the center of the universe. Today, we must continue to challenge the same notion.

January 15, 2009

Listening In The Din

You ever listen in such a way that you are paying attention? How do I explain this? Hhhmmm…..well I kind of think of the world as white noise so to speak. It’s so busy and loud, it sounds like that snowy channel when you hit the wrong button on the remote. At first it can be a tad irritating but if you’re sleeping eventually the noise just seems to fade into your subconscious.

In the din of the world around us all this noise becomes common place. Just take a walk along a city street during rush hour to experience this up close and personal. I have had to learn to retrain my ear to listen more carefully amongst the volume all around me. Every now and again there is something worth hearing but if I am not paying attention I may miss it.

I love the way Abba Father speaks to us but we have to be listening for him. Lately I hear with a word…confidence! It restructures my thoughts to have confidence. I don’t have to feel timid or shy. I have found I like to listen in confidence; it makes me want to ask more. Now I wait, confident He will answer me.

1 Kings 19:11-12 The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

January 13, 2009

Confidence!

GRACE and Truth

Thank YOU for the Fire! Thank YOU for the confidence to walk in NEWNESS….

“Oh Lord, please light the fire,

That once burned bright and clean,

Replace the lamp of my first love,

That burns with Holy fear”

A friend whom I love dearly and YOU love more spoke words of significance….

Let the fieworks begin!!!

January 12, 2009

Fizzled Embers

I was on my knees this weekend looking deep into the hearth of my fireplace. The day was so cold and we hadn’t turned on our central heat lately. The husband was off running an errand. I had built many a fire over the years but for some reason this one seemed off a touch. This one had been burning fine but eventually the flames had died out to just an ember. It didn’t seem to have enough fresh air flowing through the flue.

I thought it would be easy enough to relight the thing. Put some kindling next to the embers and it should catch from the heat but nothing happened. Matter of fact the kindling merely changed color from its pristine raw look to plain charred, no flame of glory.

Thinking I could fix this I brought in some paper fragments and twisted them up so they’d hold a flame for longer than a second. Putting these next to the embers and kindling I waited but instead of igniting into flame they only lay there smoldering; releasing some unpleasant dark smoke. Even when I tried to blow on it myself this merely produced more of the nasty smokiness. Eventually I left it alone to die out completely.

I wonder tonight about the fire of God’s love in all of us. Without His breath of life and Spirit upon us we can only blow on each other weakly, creating a smoldering mess. Without Him we are just going through the motions and no matter how we work ourselves up in a frenzy we will fizzle out into a cold and faithless religion.